A massage is a treatment that involves rubbing or kneading the muscles, either for medical or therapeutic purposes or simply as an aid to relaxation.
Massage has its place in the love life of couples; it has been found to increase intimacy and passionate sex drive. According to Dr. Deborah Musso, Director and Founder of a wellness center, Sea Charge, New York, “With massage, you gain a whole new understanding of how to create intimacy, let go of tension and go from a state of defense to a place that is safe.”
This is an area in which many couples are either lacking or inexperienced because they pay little or no attention to it. Yet, it works like magic in dousing tension in the home, especially when the marriage needs healings from hurts. In the end, it draws the couple closer, making allowance for discussion and leading to frank talk.
Massage is another great way to get tuned up for erotic passion and connect to the beauty of your partner’s body as you apply scented oil to increase your sensuality. As you rub, tell your partner what you love about his or her body. For example, talk about the curves that turn you on or the muscles that thrill you like the hip’s curve, shape of the head, baby face with the innocent looks, hairy chest and legs, etc.
Although a great rubdown on the body will put anyone in the mood, that should not be the only reason for a good massage treatment for your spouse. By exploring each other’s needs through the selfless act of massage, you can learn how to make each other melt, physically and emotionally. According to Dr. Deborah Musso, “With massage you gain a whole new understanding of how to create intimacy, let go of tension and go from a state of defense to a place that is safe.”
Gordon Inkeles, author of New Sensual Massage, also suggests that couples can also focus on the areas that hold the most tension. For men, that is the lower back, while for women, the neck and shoulders. “Be generous with your partner,” Inkeles advises, “it costs nothing – you don’t need a professional. If you spend time with your partner’s body, you will get results.”
I was surprised one day I had a nagging pain all over my body. I requested that my husband should help me massage my body, and guess what? It brought a great relief, with fun as we teased each other on the expectations and incentives derivable in helping each other to massage the body. Trust men, they will ask for more in the process, and even the women will most readily oblige since by then, the body is in the active mode, and the mood is set for great fun together. I am sure that a trial will surprise you as to what massage can do for couples.
For starters, here are some techniques that can make massaging great fun for couples:
Compression
This is done with little or no expertise on the part of the couple. All that is required, like in learning the art of sex, is the willingness to get involved. Once you start, you will discover how easily practice makes perfect. In compression, you press firmly, the muscular areas of the body, making a circular motion with one or two hands. Over large areas of the body, you can use the heel of the hands or the flat parts of your knuckles, in addition to the fingertips.
Circulation
Massage pushes up blood flow, getting more oxygen to the brain, which will increase the mood. Push your entire hand around a section of the body such as the back, upper arms, or thighs in a loop. Your partner will feel one continuous motion from the base of the spine to the shoulders, then down to the sides and across the hips.
Friction
This brings about penetrating movement that acts as a natural analgesic to sore spots. Gather up a generous handful of flesh, framing the sore spots between your closed fingers and open thumb. Lean forward and put weight on that hand, then use your free hand to circle slowly and with pressure on the framed muscle tissue- not just the surface skin below.
Kneading:
Just as if you are kneading bread, lift folds of flesh between the thumb fingertips, squeeze and release, working in a circle. Repeat, alternating hands in the same area to create a rhythmic, rolling sensation.
Percussion
The dreaded “karate chop” should feel more like a gentle rain than a thunderstorm, according to Inkeles. Cushion your thumping stroke by striking your fisted hand on to your flat hand as it rests on your partner’s body or bend your hands into upside-down cups and pummel gently to create vibrations that awaken nerves and control stress.
Finally, think of massage as a thoughtful exploration of your partner’s body, rather than a task that must be completed in order to get your turn. Repeating simple strikes and massaging for at least an hour will give more pleasure than attempting complicated movements. To Inkeles, “What could be more precious than having someone who is generous enough to focus on the needs of all your body parts.”
Rules To Follow In Massage
•Remove all forms of distractions, including phone calls, by switching off your phones.
•Play soft music and make the environment warm (70 degree Fahrenheit).
•Have towels handy, and repeat the simple strokes over and over again. After the work out, quietly disappear.
However, there are ‘don’ts’ as well, such as:
•Never massage on the bed: create a soft surface on the floor.
•Do not massage while your partner is reading or watching the television.
•Do not break body contact.
•Never apply pressure to the spine or bone below the ribs when the kidneys are unprotected.
•Do not change the rhythm or pace of your strokes, or wear jewellery or a wristwatch to massage to avoid bodily harm.
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