CODED ROMANCE: Dear Coded-ish Readers, Pls I need Your Advice

 

I am a young lady (24yrs) and here is my issue. I have known this guy 4 over 3yrs now. However, we lost contact within the first 6 months, and he went into an intimate relationship with my best friend almost immediately. When we came back again after seven months, he gave an explanation that quite justifies him- my friend practically threw herself on him when he went to her for help on how to reach me.  

Knowing the person I have as a friend, I didn't and still do not totally blame this guy. My friend could not make an attempt to defend herself in any way at all. Although I felt betrayed, disrespected and so on, I still forgave this two people and they are still part of my life till date.

Ever since this guy and I reunited, we have being so very close to each other. In fact, we stick together like bread and butter. He has shown quite an amazing and great interest in me; he now knows almost every single member of my family and I know his as well.
He proposed to me approximately seven months ago and I accepted.
However, I have always being in constant doubt about this particular guy. This is so because I feel he is not 100% reliable. Moreover, before he even came into the picture, another guy existed. Perhaps I should give you a little detail about my past relationship with the guy as well.

I met the 1st guy in the Gambia, almost immediately after I finished JSS3, as most people call it in my beloved country 9ja. When he approached me, he made his intention quite clear (marriage). I also made it abundantly clear to him that I was too young and inexperienced to consider marrying as I was only 19yrs of age then. So we became friends and our friendship gradually graduated from just friends to lovers. He treated me well and there was never a day that we quarrelled or argued. Everything was just amazing.

I was everything to him as much as he was to me. He proposed within a year and I accepted but considering my age at that particular period, I couldn’t tell my family about him. To cut everything short, I later travelled out of the country the same year to continue my studies and I have being away ever since.

Shortly after I left, he became desperate and all that. So he travelled to 9ja and within a very short period of 4weeks, he was able to get himself a lady and they did everything traditionally about their marriage and left for Gambia. But unfortunately, the marriage did not last longer than 8months. According to him, there was no love, no compatibility, nothing whatsoever. When the marriage crashed, he came back to me begging for my forgiveness as well as my love.

He says he loves me so very much and that I am his heartbeat; that he can’t do without me and all that. I have made him aware of my new relationship with my current man as well as the engagement and all but, he has refused to let go regardless of everything.

He sends hundreds of text messages and also calls me every night and day, and this is causing more harm to my present relationship as each day passes by. My man is an extremely jealous type. My ex was very kind and caring when we were together and I know that he would do anything just to have me back. And the man I am engaged to right now is just more than WOW! He treats me like a Princess and f*cks me like a Porn Star, which is just more or less exactly what I want but sadly, I am confused.

This is where you all come in. I need your sincere and candidate advice now more than anything else, please. I don’t know who loves me more or who I love more. I am totally confused and I don’t what to do and what not to.

You can insult me if you want but any helpful advice/suggestions you give to a needy ME would be preferred and appreciated.
Many Thanks.

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Written by Adewunmi Akinpelu

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